Observations from Hell

Update on my health: I went to Iowa City on Tuesday to follow up on some tests that were ran in November. All the test for biliary dysfunction came back negative. The doctor explained that all other blood tests and indications lead him to believe that have fatty liver disease. He advised me to continue to lose weight, eat less fatty foods, stop taking Tylenol, and drink less alcohol. I will abide by his advice as best as I can. I may still have the occasional burger, and most definitely will have a beer from time to time. However, I will moderate both of these with more discretion.

When I woke up this morning determined to run outside, I noticed that it had snowed 3 inches and running on the streets would be nearly impossible. So I was resigned to run on the treadmill (or better known as Satan's plaything) once again. While I run on the treadmill, I watch Sportscenter. As I stated in my last post, watching is one thing, but hearing the show over the noise of the machine is nearly impossible. So I am forced to make up the commentary to the show just by what I see on the screen. And maybe not commentary as much as mental observations of of the visual stimulus. Here are a few of my observations:

1. The 2 guys in the new BMW commercial could not look more Aryan. Seriously, they look like German soldiers from WWII films. They are both tall with blond hair and blue eyes. Wouldn't a German car company be wise to avoid this stereotype as much as possible?

2. Though a much better player, Joakim Noa is the ugliest player in the NBA since James Edwards of the Detroit Pistons in the late 80's. Actually, I see some physical resemblance between the two. Enough that I think a paternity test is warranted.

3. Brett Favre and Donovan McNabb are hated by more back up quarterbacks than anybody else in the world. It is time for both of these gentlemen to pack it in.

4. The Boston/New York game and the San Antonio/whoever game were both settled with last minute shots. And in both games the shooter pushed off before hitting the shot. I hate it when the refs put the whistle in their pocket to end the game. A foul is a foul no matter when it happens; blow the darn whistle.

5. Ohio State has a better basketball team than Duke does, yet Duke remains to be the unanimous number one team in the country. This situation completely typifies my disgust with the ranking systems in college basketball. The entire college press is so enamored with Duke that it clouds their better judgement. And don't even get me started with the commercials during March Madness. How that is not a recruiting violation I will never know!

6. Kobe Bryant was not mentioned in today's Sportscenter until the second half hour of the show. Which I find completely amazing, because since moving the show to LA, all things LA are pushed to the forefront. In fact, I think Mark Sanchez owes Sportscenter millions of dollars for bumping up his draft stock when they covered this one particular Southern Cal player everyday for the two weeks leading up to the draft. It was pathetic!

...and I really like this show. Imagine if I had to watch Oprah while I ran on that damned thing!