Thursday, March 17, 2011

It's like Crack for a Fat Guy

WARNING- Should you see this girl, DO NOT APPROACH HER.  She is to be considered armed and very dangerous to your health.

That's right!  It is that time of year again.  When seemingly innocent little girls begin selling their wears, knocking on doors, and pushing their goods on every street corner like its Cabrini Green in the 90's. 

I saw a den mother just the other day, selling boxes of this junk out of the trunk of her car, like Biggie Smalls dishing out mix tapes from the back of his Impala.  People were clamoring around, making sure they got all the cookies they paid for.  I actually overheard the woman say, "Don't worry, I got enough cookies for all of you."  Sadistic bitch!

And look at this bunch; all wearing their colors and throwing up signs.  Look at the one on the right, she looks like she is ready to do some damage! Oh wait...

...she already did.

No one is immune.  I received an email from a friend in my weight loss support group.  The following is an excerpt:
"[Thanks]for selling me those girl scout cookies, Somoas- WARNING - THEY HAVE HIGHLY ADDICTED CRACK IN THEM!!!"
These cookies are so bad even the crack is addicted to them! As a side note, when did Samoas become Caramel Delights?  Were the Samoans really that upset about the name?

Does the Pope hand out special dispensation on Girl Scouts cookies?  If not, it is quite nefarious to be handing these things out during the Lenten season.

Anyways, be careful out there.  It is a dangerous world we live in.  You never know who's going to be knocking on your door.


  1. Watch out for these girls when you get back to the States! They may even try to recruit Charley!

  2. We have them in Spain! I have avoided every one of them so far! The little devils.

  3. What do they call Samoas in Spain?