Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Two Horsemen of the Apocalypse

On or about Mile 5 of my 7 mile run this morning, I stepped onto the bike path on the east side of town.  The trail was very picturesque in the pre-dawn hours.  There was not a cloud in the sky to speak of.  The sun had yet to make its ascent, but its early light had lit the horizon on fire with colors of pink, red, and purple.  The soybeans were a dark green "carpet" pulled tight against the horizon, and pockets of fog resided in the low-lying areas.  I thought about just how beautiful this place was at this time, and how more people should be out to see it.  As I ran through the last pocket of fog, just before I entered the tree lined section of the path, this feeling of peace and nostalgia was soon ended.

The moment I stepped through the fog, the trees closed in around the trail.  The path was darkened as I lost sight of the colorful horizon, and Metalica's Four Horsemen came on the shuffle of music in my iPod.  These were prophetic signs of the horror that was approaching me.  My senses were already on edge, acutely surveying my surroundings, when it finally happened.  It took me a few seconds to realize it, but I could sense the presence of another in my midst. I realized I was being chased by not one, but two horse flies.  Many of you may not know of the horror of which I speak.  For these were no common house flies.  These were determined spawns of Satan, that will chase you to the ends of the Earth, hoping to nab a taste of the sweet blood that courses through my veins.

It began with a few swipes across my scalp.  As I swatted at the nuisance, one of these monsters actually crossed the path in front of me, letting me know the fight that I was in for.  I picked up my pace, in the hopes of out running these demons, but to no avail.  For no one can truly out run the devil.  The flies escalated their attack to a full on bombardment, diving at my head, back and shoulders.  They were, I am sure, attracted to the sweet smell of my perspiration, and their lust for my blood had driven them into a frenzy.

I managed to eliminate the first attacker, when it made the fatal mistake of biting my shoulder.  With the reflexes of a Jedi, I smacked the crap out the thing, smearing blood on my hands and shoulders.  His compatriot continued the onslaught for another mile, occasionally disappearing from view or attack.  However as my run came to its end, I was able to vanquish this final tormentor as it sank its "teeth" into my back.  I grabbed this last demon from its bounty, threw it on the ground, and stepped on it like the bug he was.

I am sure that my elimination of these creatures has done much damage to my Karmic balance, but have you ever been bitten by one of those things?  It freaking hurts!

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