Considering the guilt that I felt last Thursday for my splurge at the Chinese buffet, I am equally as pleased with this week's weigh-in results for my losing 10 pounds before Thanksgiving challenge. I lost 3 pounds this week, for a total of 6 pounds in three weeks, and only 4 pounds to go in the next 3 weeks. Of course, there are quite a few obstacles laying in my path, including the 2 barrels of Halloween candy still beautifully displayed in my home, but I am confident that I will be able to achieve my goal and lose 10 pounds before Thanksgiving.
And that is how things are going for me; I feel terrible one moment for splurging, and elated the next for having some success on the scale. Then other times I feel bad because I REALLY want to splurge or treat myself or just throw in the towel completely and eat whatever I damn well please, but I don't and I question what the hell I am doing all of this for. And then other times, I am so excited that I have committed to boxing up half of my dinner out before I ever start eating, or actually leaving a few bites uneaten on my plate knowing that I may have dessert or snack later. It seems as though if I am truly committed to losing this weight that I am going to be faced with a lot of highs and lows throughout my struggle!
The good thing is that the exercise has now become habit. It is something that I have built into my normal day, and I feel terribly out of sorts if I fall out of routine. So, I have got that going for me. But the real stumbling block is my food. I LOVE food! All kinds of food: junk food, fast food, gourmet food, healthy food, dessert food, and pretty much anything that you put in your mouth and can be classified as food. So, when I have to deny myself something that I love so much, it makes me a little sad. But I also love losing weight and getting fit. I love the way I feel, I love when Katie likes how my arms are looking, I love getting on the scale and seeing it read less than it did last week. So, when I eat something, or too much of many things, that I think will be a detriment to losing weight, it makes me feel a little sad, as well.
I wish I were one of those people that could eat pretty much whatever they wanted, and as long as they were working out, they would never gain a pound. I wish I were not one of those people that could gain 5 pounds on a good night of food and beer. But wishing does nothing, and it definitely cannot change who I am. I think this is pretty much what I can expect until I get down to an "ideal" weight, a lot of highs and a lot of lows. I just hope that my highs can continue to be about my low weight, and not the other way around.