Guilt

I have been working really hard to lose 10 pounds by Thanksgiving.  I have been extremely conscious of my diet.  I have made sure to avoid going back for seconds, and if I do, I make sure to take more vegetables than anything else.  I have been very aware of my beer consumption.  If I overindulge on beer, I make sure not to overindulge on food, and vice versa.  Also, I have not been consuming beer unless I feel like the occasion calls for it, i.e. wienie roasts, guy's nights out, Oktoberfest, etc.

I have been working out very hard, and have not missed a single day!  I have worked hard to improve on my sprint times, pull-up reps, and stair step speed!  I have added maneuvers that I have not done in over 10 years like squats and cleans.

And all of that work and discipline has been paying off; I have lost 3 pounds in the last 2 weeks!

And then yesterday, Katie and I closed on the refinance mortgage on our home.  We saved a ton of money in interest, will possibly pay off our home before the kids graduate from high school (just in time to pay for college!), and for some odd reason it worked out that we do not have to make a mortgage payment in November!  Right after the closing, Katie and I decided that we should go out and celebrate with a dinner out.

There were several options that we had for dinner.  Some of them have healthier options like the local pubs that we have.  There are possible healthy choices at Mexican, but the chips and salsa usually blow it for me.  There is of course pizza which is not necessarily healthy, but I can control the portions more easily.  And then there is the Chinese buffet!

I don't know what it is but I really like Chinese buffets.  Beyond the fat and calories, I know there are very serious concerns for food-borne illnesses at a Chinese buffet.  However, I just really enjoy the food available, crab rangoons, egg rolls, fried rice, General Tso's Chicken, Spicy Chicken, oil-laden green beans, sugar dusted fried biscuits, and so much more.  I find portion control to be simple, but small portions of 15-20 items adds up to about 5 pounds of food!

Needless to say I lacked the self-control that made my efforts so successful and I completely overindulged.  Now this morning, I feel extremely guilty; I feel like I let myself down.  I have plenty of time to make up for my lack of discipline, but I have certainly thrown an obstacle in my way.  I also feel angry.  How can it be that I cannot screw up one time without screwing up my whole effort? I just feel terrible! I hope it's not Listeria!