... you take them both and there you have the fact that I was given notice today that I would no longer have my job as of August 15.
After my post yesterday, I had decided that I would stop with the fluff pieces about inspiration and my inability to swim. I was going to get down to the nitty gritty, and start talking more about my workouts.
I had known about the meeting to discuss my future employment and I knew that being dismissed was a possibility. I had decided I was actually going to use that as fuel for my morning run. It took me a little longer than usual to get out the door, but once I hit the pavement I was feeling pretty good. According to my normal workout schedule I was going to do a hard 2 miles. Before I even left the house I said to myself that I was going to do a hard 3 miles. But as I was going I thought about my fitness goals and the fact that I was running 4 miles by late last fall. I was also thinking about work. I was thinking how unfair it would be to let me go. I thought that it really wasn't a strong possibility because they needed me too much. And I thought about what on Earth I was going to do,if I was let go.
I was flying; I finished my first mile in 7min and 20 secs. In the next 50 yards is the split between my 2, 3, or 4 mile runs. I debated all the way up to the turn, and decided "F#$%, I am going to run 4 miles!" I continued to really pound out the miles, 15:07 at mile 2. I was feeling good, and I was still going over the upcoming meeting in my mind. I am rarely caught off guard in these situations because I usually have thought of every scenario I can be presented with, and already know my response to those scenarios. And this situation was no different. What I was really going over was what I wanted to say versus what I was going to say. I would love to tell these people off, but the fact is I need them as references, and I am responsible for my whole family. The ground was flying underneath my feet, 22:31 mile 3. For the last mile I started focusing on my form and pace. I focused on how my chest hurt on the uphills, but I could recover on the downhills. I wanted a good number.
When I was finally finished, 4.1 miles in 29:57, I felt accomplished. That was the fastest I had ever run, nothing could take that away.
I went to work prepared some notes for my meeting and a couple of hours later was told I was not needed after the summer. Talk about taking the wind out of my sails. Even for all of my preparation, I still was not fully prepared for the shock. I will not go into the details of the meeting, but I can assure everyone that I remained professional, and hopefully can count on them for good references in my upcoming job search.
When you are faced with any difficult situations, there are a flood of emotions. After reassuring my wife and my staff that everything would be okay, the emotion that I have focused on is resolve.
I will not allow this to define me.
I will continue to be a good and professional employee.
I will not go to the fridge every time I feel sorrow.
After all is said and done, I will be better off.
The really good thing, I am not going to allow this job get in the way of the runs and rides that I have planned for this summer. Now, I am going to see if the local gym will let me pound on their punching bag for an hour.
If there is anyone to turn this situation into something better in the long run, it is you.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
I am keeping the faith that this is how it was supposed to turn out and you all will be better off in the end. I am sorry and we are, as always, thinking of you guys. Love you so much!
ReplyDeleteKeep your head up, buddy.
ReplyDeleteSounds like it's time to start your own business. That way you always work for a guy who'll never fire you.
So, maybe brining you the big bag of junk food wasn't the best idea... good thing you ran all those miles yesterday morning!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you guys!
You are such an amazing man, Brian Fulton. I love your outlook...your resolve WILL get you far. We are thinking and praying for you. See you Monday. XO.
ReplyDelete